At Sarah's Table

I don’t have enough to make a full post, but I thought I’d stop by and share a few updates.

• Peter took a few days off of work for a little R & R.  We took the kids to the Bell Museum of Natural History.  It’s on the University of Minnesota campus and if you ever get a chance to go, you should.  Thomas and Anna were so excited to be on a college campus.  Thomas especially thinks colleges are the Coolest Thing Ever, which is amusing to see.  I sense many years of tuition ahead of us.

They have a Touch and See Room for children.  Peter’s showing Henry the enormous teeth some dead animal had.

• Anna learned how to bike on two wheels.  My big goal for the summer was to get her up and biking well enough to make the two mile ride to our public library.  She was up and biking no more than a day when she announced her intention of making the trip AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  So the next day we suited up and went.  She did beautifully.  On the way back she fell a couple of time in quick succession, each time shouting, “I’m OK!” as soon as she recovered herself.  Finally I asked what her problem was since she’d done so well on the way there and now she suddenly couldn’t bike a block without a spectacular spill.  She said she couldn’t see since her hair was completely covering her face.  I told her that it wouldn’t resolve itself and that she would have to fix her helmet.  After that she did fine.  After we arrived home, she shouted, “I made my goal!”  It was adorable.

• I’m thinking of joining a Homeschool Support Group.  It’s not really like me to join something so, I don’t know, specific.  But it’s been a long time since I’ve had any real encouragement and I could use it.  I have a history of zigging where others zag and you’d think it would get easier.  Most of the time I am overwhelmingly comfortable with the choices I’ve made, but lately I’ve just been tired from fighting the good fight.  I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing, but that doesn’t mean I can go without encouragement.  It reminds me of when I was home with babies and toddlers all the time and I would get run down with the unique challenges of being home all of the time with little ones.  Did I want to leave them in daycare and go to work in an office?  No.  But it is tiring doing that kind of a job all day, every day with little support and few breaks.  Obviously this isn’t the same, but you get the idea, right?

• In other news, we have a new clothesline.  Peter wrote about in on his blog (edstrom.net/blog), but I’ll post a picture here for your edification.

I was trying to explain to a friend recently the benefits of line drying clothes.  While I do believe that line drying is awesome and a common practice in most of the world, my desire to do so comes from the calm peaceful feeling I get standing in the open air, pinning up the clothes.  I love the crisp off-the-line smell that reminds me of growing up in the country.  Even though I’m not supposed to do it because of my allergies, I can’t resist the smell of line dried clothes.  I’m also looking forward to seeing the savings on our electric and gas bill!

I read a piece once on how appliance manufacturers are trying hard to sell clothes driers to the Chinese.  If they could open up that market it would mean selling this product hand over fist to a growing population of affluent Asians.  The problem they were having is that most Chinese people don’t see why they would spend hundreds of dollars on something that the fresh air does for free.  I remember having this thought the last time our drier broke.  It’s costing us $XXX to buy this product and $XXX every year to run it–tell me again–how much trouble is it to just hang them over a line?  But a clothes drier is something so normalized here that we don’t even count the cost.  But take this with a grain of salt.  I’m starting to question the trouble and expense of indoor plumbing.

I’ve been having homeschooling conversations with people off and on since we moved to Minneapolis a year ago.  The conversations basically consist of “But the schools here are so great, why would you keep homeschooling?” and “Well, it’s okay for now but when they get older and the classes are taught by specialists you’ll really want to send them off to school.”

I’m not suggesting that either of these statements are not true.  The schools in my area are generally believed to be very good and it is true that in middle and high school the classes are taught by people who have specialized in a specific area of study.  I’m also not suggesting that I am in any way informed on the relative awesomeness of public schools of today versus the public school that I grew up in.  And I’ll add that when our kids reach seventh and eighth grades Peter and I will have a serious discussion on the path we want our kids’ education to head and whether we’re up to the task of continuing to educate them at home.

What I would like to say, however, is that there are reasons we teach our kids at home that have nothing to do with the quality of education available in our area.  These reasons are manifold and would seem trifling and insignificant to anyone not actually living our life, but to us they are an important part of the way we want to spend our time on this earth. 

Even when it’s hard and not-so-pretty, we really enjoy sharing a whole one-piece life with our kids.  We like setting the pace to our days and weeks and letting the learning be a part of the whole.  When I think of letting the order of my children’s day be pressed into the timetable of the Public School District there’s something in me that just cringes.  How many times have I seen the neighbor children running full tilt towards the school bus in the morning?  Or walk by, heads down, dragging their bookbags on the way home?  I mention this symbolically, of course, but then I think of the hours in between as they sit in crowded classrooms, line up for lunch, water, potty, recess and I think, Why?  I’m at least as clever and resourceful as a public school teacher so what would be the purpose?  That’s a rhetorical question, mind you.  I’ve heard everything there is to say on the matter and I’m sure there’s not much to improve the debate to my mind. 

I’m as ‘for’ public schools as the next person; I’ll vote for every levy and referendum that comes to the ballot and I’d be thrilled for more of my property tax dollars to be sent their way.  I think it’s fantastic that we have a free education available to all children regardless of background, despite how broken the system can be.  But as long as I have a choice between a quality education at home and a quality education in an institution, why would I chose the latter?

One of the main reasons I’m choosing to homeschool (for now) is that my whole life I have been a square peg in a round hole.  Human beings love conformity and no one loves it like a child.  A child has all the passion for ‘fitting in’, but none of the tolerance, patience, and manners that adults use when interacting with each other.  As charming as kids can be, when you’re the odd-kid-out in a juvenile social setting, children can be merciless. 

Part of what we used to make our homeschooling decision is that intimate understanding of what it’s like to be the kid who doesn’t quite fit in and how painful that can be.  Some kids handle that just fine.  They can use that rejection to become better people and that’s great.  But I find that I meet more people who changed who they were in order to become more acceptable to their peers.  And when I became a mother and saw what wonderful, unique human beings were given to my care, I thought, “No.  I want them to be who they were meant to be.”

When people ask me “What about socialization?”, as they always do, I wonder what they mean.  Do they mean time to socialize?  Like with friends and peers?  Or do they mean the process by which our cultural mores and behavior patterns are transmitted?  Because if they mean the first, sure, the kids get plenty of time to be with other children and socialize.  But if they are asking about whether the kids are being taught how to behave in our culture I would say, Sure, they’re being socialized– by me.  And my husband.  And our family and friends who know them and love them and are invested in the outcome of their lives.  Why, oh why, would I leave them to be ‘socialized’ by masses of children with no experience or maturity who neither know them nor care for their lives?  How is that better?

Forgive me if I sound defensive.  I realize that by opting for an ‘alternative lifestyle’ I’m subjecting myself and my family to critiques and criticism that would pass me by otherwise.  If my children went to public school and we were encountering problems, people would commiserate with me and shake their heads at the mess that is public education today.  If I chose to live outside the mainstream, I know I need to expect to have my choices questioned and sniffed at.  But this just serves to prove my point, I’m afraid.  There is nothing actually lacking in my children’s education.  There are no problems actually manifest.  They excel in many areas.  But there is still this suspicion of someone choosing to live their own life outside of the proscribed lines of what is expected.  If I wanted to ‘rebel’ in socially approved ways, get tattoos, piercings, dye my hair pink–hey, that’s cool.  But if I want to live a life that actually stands apart from what’s ‘normal’, well, missy, you’d better explain yourself.  So I guess I am, here in this post.  I love my children, I love education, and I love to live this crazy, different life as I show my children what a brilliant world they’re a part of.

It’s possible that when they’re older I’ll send them away to school all day.  When they’ve grown more and have a better idea of who they are and what the world is like outside of the walls of a school, I could see it happening.  But for now, this is working out and we’re as pleased as anything that we can live the life we want.

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”  Mark Twain

I was wondering if any of you have experience with the book White Fang by Jack London?  I picked it up at a used bookstore thinking it might be suitable for Thomas who is a Reader, but since I’m not sure what sort of subject material it covers I’m wondering if it’s appropriate for a 8.5 year old boy?  Save me some work and tell me what you think!